Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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