so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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