soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So vagazzling was a success
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize