Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
