It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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