Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize