If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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