Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
