yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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