i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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