): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
