My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
