i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
