Your dad touched me again.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
