No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Someone signed my nipple.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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