the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
