? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
