So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
