We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
