Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
