Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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