If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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