You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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