Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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