well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
