i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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