You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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