There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
soo... how was my night?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
