But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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