belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
