quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
