suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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