i would punch a child for taco bell
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
