These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
