I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize