i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
