her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize