Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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