10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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