I think i sorta joined a cult last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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