Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
