$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
