He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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