Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
