eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
