Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize