At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize