Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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