everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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