Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
