I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
