you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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