I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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