smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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