Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
