he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
then he tried to convert me to islam
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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