Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
pray to the hookup gods
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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