im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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