i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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