Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
