ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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