i jhust puked up my retainher.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
