I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
