Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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