who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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