he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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