I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
