Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize