I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
