gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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