..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
