She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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