Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
