So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
