are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
