Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
