Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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