ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
